i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i barfeds in our rink
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
