First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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