There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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