he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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