You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
