We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize