My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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