I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize