I didn't shave. On purpose
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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