Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
