i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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