Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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