Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
