discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
