flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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