I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
