Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come see our sink grown plant.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
