you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
