Your dad touched me again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
