i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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