Your face is a jimmy john
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
