Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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