Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
