I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
