3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
