Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize