It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
