i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize