remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize