You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize