I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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