I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize