Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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