Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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