...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
