Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
