I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
