Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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