once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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