so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
