Girls should come with a carfax report
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
