guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize