Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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