he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
