HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
