So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
