My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Panties = found
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
