Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize