And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this just has baby written all over it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
