can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
