So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
