ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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