Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You may now shotgun with the bride
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
