why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize