so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
