gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
