Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
