Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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