hell yes lets make some ravioli
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Panties = found
Randomize
