I wanna passion pit in your ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
