Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
